Change. It can happen in the blink of an eye. It can happen over time. But it always happens. Things never stay the same and that is life. Friendships fade and relationships fail. Telephone booths become smartphones. We grow with people or we outgrow them. Change can leave scars that seem to never fade, but change can also blossom enchanting, new bright flowers.
It's weird how life happens without us even knowing. You're suddenly looking back at the past year and thinking how different everything was this time last year. Especially with the events of this past year which caused all of us to slow down for a moment...or a few couple hundred moments inside our houses with masks and social distancing to protect us from the novel Coronavirus. Will that word ever not be spoken? Will that change too?
Time gets away from us and we forget to slow things down once in a while and live in the moment. Remember to cherish things and never take simple small things for granted. It's that random Tuesday phone call you have with your grandpa you'll miss the most, not the shiny new convertible with the heated seats...those things fade before you even remember you cared.
Sitting with your grandma after supper, holding your little brother's hand on a dusk walk, kissing that one boy for the first time who makes your stomach flutter. Such small things that one day become something we wish we could still do. Time likes to move without us and never stops for you to catch up. And it seems like the older we get, the faster time seems to go. Everything begins to happen so quickly, in the blink of an eye, it never slows down.
Suddenly you're wishing you could just go back for a split moment. If you could just hear that song in that one car ride with all your best friends one last time. If you could just be on that sofa snuggled up to your little sister before everything got so heavy. If you could just hear your grandpa's cheery voice saying your name one last time. If you could just...
Growing up. Changing. Becoming someone else different than who you were.
It's scary. It's different. It's essential. We all want to fight time and slow it down or rewind it or sometimes fast forward. But life doesn't work that way.
As I said, it's absolutely terrifying, but we can't stop change no matter what. We don't always see it, but change ends up usually being good.
Sure, that heartbreak can heart a good while and make your world feel like it's not spinning, but later on, when the boy with curly locks takes you home and kisses you sweetly, it makes you feel like there is better out there.
Time. You have to give it time. Love yourself while you're changing and know this is only a brief part of your journey and you're on the way to becoming the best person you can be.
Coming from someone who never lets anything go without a good tug of war, change needs to be embraced sometimes. You need to be positive about it and trust. Trust that the universe knows what it's doing. I trust that God has his hand in my life and His will WILL be done no matter what. I hope you do too.
There is a purpose for all this mess. For all your heartbreak. For who you were when you woke up every day smelling like a different bottle of liquor. For who you were you when working two jobs to afford one class at a community college. For who you are NOW.
I don't know everything, far from it. I don't claim to be all-knowing, but I do learn things about life and how I personally perceive this journey we're all on together.
I learn something new about myself probably every five minutes.
That's okay.
You don't have to have it all figured out. Just the basics. Brush your teeth and shower....please.
Moving to Colorado was a huge shift and change to my life which has been life-changing! It was one of the best things I have done for myself mentally in a long time and it was so needed.
It wasn't until I changed that I realized how out of wack and upside down my life really was. I slept 12-14 hours every day and sometimes I would en take a nap. I was very sad and depressed when I was living in Texas because I was uninspired and felt out of place. I canceled plans and wouldn't see my family or friends only to watch the same show I've seen on Hulu for the millionth time.
Denver, Colorado is my new start. Fresh. I have needed a new start for a while now. I know I'm leaving behind a lot of negative energy and people. It will do wonders for me to start being selfish and doing things for myself. It's okay to be selfish every once in a while.
I'm also leaving a lot of good behind too. My friends and family. Whataburger's Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. Memories.
But I know my family and my true friends will never fade. I don't have to worry about that. It will make seeing them so much sweeter. Things will still change and it will never be the same.
Basically, I'm just saying to embrace the change and trust that it's happening for a reason.
The God I know will never forsake me or leave me. He will never fail me, for his love is unfailing. I have done some pretty questionable things during my life. Yet he still loves me all the same. I hope you will give Him a chance one day to carry you and love you. He already does love you, but you have to open up to him...
You have to learn to let it go and love people in a different way sometimes.
You CAN'T fix everyone.
They have to want to fix themselves first.
And sometimes those people will not understand why you don't want anything to do with them when they finally decide to want to be on "good" terms. Sometimes like Taylor Swift says, "It's too late for you and your white horse to come around."
You won't always be naive and you'll know when it's time to let go for good. When it's time to shut them out as they did you so many times before.
Enough is enough.
SO! Readers, I want you to embrace it! Change is always lurking around that corner you're running from.
Don't run from it, but learn to run with it.
5 reasons I believe CHANGE improves your life and inner soul:
1. It gives perspective. It shows you a new view or altered view of life...allowing room for growth.
2.It challenges you to push your limits and think outside the box. Learn new things, push your heights and limits all at once.
3.Allows for there to be room for improvement. Growth! Growth! Growth!!!
4.Makes you a stronger, wiser person with new lessons to teach and new things to share. Think of all the cool stories you get to tell your family and friends.
5.Teaches you lessons and provides blessings and gifts from the universe to enhance your life or teach you something about who you are. (my favorite part)
Now, I'm right in the middle of my big change of life and I'm going to run with my change (literally and figuratively). I graduated from the University of North Texas with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a Bachelor of Arts in Broadcast Journalism and Digital News. I'm so proud of myself and so excited to get my Masters of Arts in counseling.
I'm going to be open to all that life has to offer me and remember it's okay to say yes and it's also good to say no sometimes.
Remember, like in writing, some things are better left to be saved as a draft, but never published. Keep that draft as a reminder of how you wrote once, but the book is how far you have come.
I'm still learning on this one, but being petty is only cute at the moment and usually, it's to cover up how you really feel or you just end up feeling bad about it later. Think before you speak??? I think yes. I am still learning that too. Sometimes you just want to tell the girl the truth even though the truth is ugly and mean and okay I guess sometimes it's only YOUR truth...uh what do you call that? An opinion? Maybe...
But still, stand for those who don't have the courage to stand for themselves. Stand for what you believe in and don't apologize for who you are. Stand Strong my lovely. I know you can do it. Screw that other voice!
As always, love others. Love yourself like you want to be loved. Be happy and slow down every once in a while. Take it all in. Life is short.
You've only got one my loves.
Make it count.
xoxo,
Rachael
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