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  • Writer's pictureRachael Elizabeth Jones

Loving yourself through the single years

Updated: Aug 4, 2020




Hi friends!! I hope everyone is taking good care of themselves during this heavy and tough time in the world. Make sure you are putting YOU first when you start to feel extra anxious or sad. You can’t love others well unless you love yourself and take care of yourself first.

Check on your black friends and make sure their mental health is doing okay or ask how you can better support them. Respect the social distancing guidelines in public, but don’t be afraid to live your life...there’s only so much you can do. Most importantly, just be safe and proceed with enough caution to keep you and others safe.


Now, back to what I was saying about loving yourself...


Something that has been on my mind lately is being single and what that means to me and how I treat myself in and out of a relationship. Being single when you're 21 to me is fun and feels like I’m focusing on myself and my dreams.

However, family members if you're reading this please stop asking if I am dating someone, and mom please stop trying to set me up with guys you meet at the grocery store...


Sometimes it is so much pressure when you're young to feel like you have to find someone or have a significant other. I have always been told people meet their future husband/wife when they are in college and now that I am a rising senior in college still just doing me, it has made me feel more pressure to feel like I need to have someone. I am consistently asked by people, old and young, “So Rachael, what’s your love life like? Are you seeing someone?“ Nowadays I just shrug and say “I’m just seeing myself and focusing on my degree.”

Maybe it's out of character because of my age, but I am enjoying my singleness at this time of my life. I am at a time in my life where I feel like I have so much still to do with my life and it feels right in my journey to be still in my singleness right now and just focus on my dreams without an extra person. I believe everyone is on their own journey and everyone experiences different things at different times.


My best friend, Shannon, is getting married soon and I couldn't be more excited for her love story to unfold. She and Jace are ready to be in that step of life and move into that part of adulthood. I will gladly stand next to her as her maid of honor and do everything in my power to make it the most special and beautiful day that they both eagerly deserve.


My point here is to show you that everyone grows at different times and we are all waiting on blessings at all different times of our life. Don't be sad or envious you don't have someone, because one day it'll happen. Don't look too hard, because I promise it always happens when you least expect it. Also, being jealous of someone you care about that is happy and in love is not cool. Celebrate people when they are happy and cherish them. Their happiness should make you happy and want to celebrate that!!!


I could meet the love of my life right after I post this and my whole mindset might change, but I am pretty stubborn. I still have a lot to do while being single. Sure, I'll go on some dates, but I am moving in 11 months and I like being single. I will not close my heart to the possibility, but I have set goals and I really don't mind not having a boyfriend. I know that may seem quite hard for some of you to believe, but I LOVE myself enough to follow my own dreams and just wait for what I deserve.


Here’s how I show myself love and I learn to enjoy being alone and still in my singleness.


1. 1 HOUR OF ALONE TIME I say this often, but genuinely take a a hobby up or find your favorite movie to watch, but do it ALONE. Just one hour a day, find something that is yours to enjoy for the day by yourself.

2.DATES BY YOURSELF

I know for many this can be very hard to do alone and not everyone is mentally capable of sitting alone at a restaurant. It can be small things though like car rides with your favorite tunes playing or getting your toes done without your bestie for a change. I know it can be hard and easy to feel alone even when there are people all around us. You never grow until you get out of your comfort zone.


3. BE HAPPY BEING UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU

This is what it’s about! Knowing that self-love is a journey you are always going thru and learning to love how you are when no one is around. Don’t be fake, it’s tacky and not cute. Just be honest and tell people how you feel. Be happy, do what makes you happy and always speak up when you feel like YOU need to be heard


4. GO OUT!

I know all my introverts are probably losing it inside as they read this, but you don‘t have to get blasted every weekend or even when you do go out. Just dance and have fun or go do something that makes your heart race (in a good way).

5. PRACTICE GRACE AND KINDNESS.

We all fall short of the glory of God and make very human mistakes. That’s totally okay! Just remember to embrace being human and know that NO ONE is perfect. I am even bad at showing myself grace, I’ll text someone I shouldn‘t then it ends badly and I have actually slapped myself. Not healthy, not cool. We must not only be kind to ourselves at all times but to others as well. We don’t know the true story of everyone’s inner and outer life struggle. Always choose to be kind to everyone, be extra kind, smile, and you will radiate sunshine.


Again, I’m 21 and definitely don’t have it all figured out, but these are my tips on what I’ve learned over my last three years of singleness.


I hope this blog helps you learn to better love who you are all on your own, because that my friend is how we love one another the best. You can never truly love someone else until you love yourself first.


l love you all and I appreciate every read and click from my lovely readers. Y’all are the bomb diggity!!!

I’m not lying you’re awesome so please remember that!!!!


Always be more kind than usual.


Black Lives Matter and please check on the black community. As a white female, I will never understand what it’s like to live as a black female or male. However, I will do my part and I stand with them ALWAYS.


Reach out on social media and let’s be friends!!!


Love to you all!! Hang in there and remember everyone is on their own journey. Who gives if you’re 28 and not married? That’s gonna be me honestly and I don’t care at all!


love yourself, love others. We are at our best when we serve one another.


xoxo,


UnapologeticallyRachael









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